If your future in-laws and their family care so much about it, do not marry this man unless you are HAPPY to convert, will truly believe in it and do all the bull that goes along with that, and will send your kids to Hebrew school, etc. Islam is in fact a way of life. I believe there is something and I still have to find a religion that suits me. Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me; About to convert to Islam, but lost my Muslim boyfriend; I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesn’t know; My wife has committed Zina during Iddah but wants me back Reet, unfortunately, not all Muslims are a good representation of what Islam is and from what you say, your boyfriend has some traits that are extremely disliked in Islam. Who said you had to be Jewish for the kids to be Jewish? It's not about you and him, but the environment in which you will seek to maintain your relationship. John, don't start quoting getty lee...i may have to send you a friend request. One should convert to Islam for God and God alone. Part of the job of children is to teach their parents. 1 0. Islam itself is … So, after you convert to Islam, he still can't be your boyfriend (if he wants to be devout). If you convert, you're saying that you believe all of that stuff. Facebook. Belief-wise, we're both pretty atheist, though.If we were to have kids I would certainly be in favor of sending them to Hebrew school, having bar/bat mitzvahs, doing Hanukkah, Passover, etc to keep them in touch with their cultural roots. As such, the religion of Islam teachesthat in order to achieve true peace of mind and surety of heart, one mustsubmit to God and live according to His Divinely revealed Law.Islam is not a new religion because ‘submissionto the will of God’, i.e. Although, I am threatening to wrap his gifts in red and green next year and then decorate his socks. there is a lot of literature on the subject if you go looking. The Declaration of Faith (Shahada) To convert to Islam and become a Muslim, all you need to do is say the below testimony with conviction and understanding its meaning: "Ash Shadoo an La ilaha illa Allah, Wa Ash Shadoo ana Muhammadan rasoolu Allah." You and your boyfriend's life-not your parents, not his parents. He never asked me to convert for the sake of the kids, though it would have pleased his family. "Seriously, though, I never understood converting for a person. When you get divorced you turn in your library card? I think what it comes down to is respecting each others' beliefs. That's a blessing, not a problem or a shame. Reform Judaism recognizes kids as Jewish if either mom or dad is Jewish. So there is definitely a very firm intent to get married. (As I recently discovered as a Jewish guy engaged to a non-Jewish woman.) Before accepting Islam, make sure you study as many different faiths as you can. If you are ready to convert to Islam to keep the relationship, then go ahead and do so. There are few Tevyas left in the world (Tevya is the main character), and it shows how Tevya comes to accept that the old ways change. She knew she wouldn't believe in it, and she never offically converted. We are Jewish because we choose to be Jewish. ©2020 Verizon Media. Nearly one-in-seven converts to Islam (15 percent) had no religion before their conversion.". However, in order for our kids to be Jewish I must be Jewish. However, to marry I'm assuming it's a different story. Otherwise, I don't really see why is this an issue. :P Just Hanukkah. So there's really no urgency. Every mosque, every community has a different culture, a different flavor. In what language are sermons delivered? Be active, be sincere, be consistent, even incessant in your prayers to God. To Amy R.:I honestly do not know if I want to convert. I have been hunting for an analogy but I don't think there's another group well known in America that has a comparable set of membership benefits. my boy friend is a Sikh. I had a really serious boyfriend for whom I considered converting to Judaism. But as far as having the faith, I don't know. To Henry S.:Did you make it clear to your fiance? A Muslim is responsible to live a lifestyle upholding both obligations. Nonetheless, one’s decision to convert can be made with greater confidence and ease if grounded in a sound understanding of the religion. In fact, I make challah every week for shabbat. The law is,  mom must be Jewish for the kids to be Jewish..that's the law. Even though I'm not a Catholic, I am still proud of my upbringing and I'm glad my parents pulled me out of public school. A devout muslim. Good luck! Stay aware of your surroundings people. God's Word and God's Works should not ever conflict. I asked him today if he loved his religion more than me, and he said he did. I’ve had 8 sexual partners, I lie, drink, smoke. Let prayer be your vehicle's fuel in the journey to Him. The thing is i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, and I have sinned with him by having sex, the right thing to do would be to marry him eventually, and we love each other very much so would be more than willing to do that in the near future, but for now we're too young. I do not have a religion. What's important to us is our dedication to each other as a family. Relationship with partner? Yes, Islam is about the Unity of God and the unity of humanity. 4 minutes ago Tom "Some people call me the Space Cowboy" R. says:Tsada K. says:The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.Wait...what?=======================Isn't he an atheist?--------------------Sort of...he's agnostic--hence the "wait...what? No one said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it. I could never convert. Can you see where this is heading? That is definitely something I will look into because I have been under the impression that it is a must for the children to really be considered Jewish. I noticed that ever since they've been together, she's become more religious in her own beliefs. :), I cannot think of a stupider idea. You might not like it,but there it is. Assallamu Alaikum sister, before I answer I would like to apologize in advance if my answer may seem harsh. If you are Chinese-American you have your own history and background that is at least as rich. As an atheist I'd convert to save my life, or anyone elses for that matter, but I wouldn't just because someone wanted me to. A few months back Adam called me in a rage. Personal choice. His personal experience was affording him the benefit of practical study -- not just theory from some hypothetical scenario. It also seems that maybe you do understand this. I'm Jewish because my mother is Jewish, but she married a Presbyterian whose only yarmulke is the skin one that has been rapidly expanding on the top of his head for the last forty years. There is something very deep and quietly alluring about it, but not easy or flashy, and at times it can be antiquated and dysfunctional. My boyfriend is Christian and 100% sure he does not want to convert. Judaism has thrived under poverty and oppression for millennia - as a culture it does not hold together well in conditions of wealth or freedom. Just don't ever complain about how you had to convert for him later on. I was able to find a jewish officiant to marry us, and we had a jewish wedding....some highlights included breaking the glass, and hava negila with us being carried on chairs. Would he have married her had she not agreed to convert-probably not. don't do it. Islam teaches that religion is God's Word and science is God's Works. We got married because we were so much in love and couldn't imagine life without the other. Traditionally speaking in Judaism conversions are actually discouraged. Keep your head on a swivel when going in or Leaving your…. Some find their families actually welcomed their choice, and others not so much. Both of your families will have to accept that. Remember, you get to live your life!! Some Native American tribes perhaps.In most of the world the Jewish identity is dissipating, particularly between generations as most Jews outside of Israel marry non-Jews. If you don't believe in Judaism and/or have no desire to convert, don't. There is real commitment here so a conversation is in order. I say go through with it, as long as it doesn't make you ill. Thanks for everyone's comments! If you really want to marry him I agree that an inter-faith ceremony. If you like it, cool. So this is what I've been putting Adam through. If Obama can be President, how could anyone lament that times have change?There is perhaps some benefit to studying Judaism, and learning the practices. Depends on his mindset. My boyfriend is more culturally Jewish so it wouldn't be problematic if I didn't believe in all the tenets of Judaism. The Qur'an is not a terribly long book and if you don't have a copy, here's a free e-copy in English. 21-year-old Aliyah used to be known as Alexandra. If you don't care, then what's the harm in going through all the hoopla and just converting?It's all make believe anyways. One should convert to Islam for God and God alone. It's odd that I am considered Jewish, but my cousin whose father is Jewish, is not. Shouldn't one only convert to a belief because they are moved to do so by a belief, and not a person? Don't let anyone rush you, and don't rush yourself. To Marie K.:Well, like I said we aren't in any rush. 8. What is YOUR word of the year (2020j. Oh, and no more alcohol and no more pork. Im christian but do not go to church or anything i was just christened by my parents as a baby. Lucky for me, the answer is simply no. It is very different from my upbringing, but many of the values are the same.At the moment, I can say I wouldn't mind celebrating the culture and the values. And that doesn't even account for the millions spent to promote Islamophobia to deter people from studying Islam in the first place. My mom was Catholic, my dad Jewish. Why do you have to convert? again, she was reform...when i asked why... roomie told me that in order for the children to be considered jewish that the mother's ovum was what determined what the child would be born...and NOT the father's sperm. It's all kinds of culture fu*ks right there. He is happy to support me in raising our son Jewish, which I appreciate.It's easier for us, since my son is considered Jewish because it's passed down by the mom (me).If you have any interest / curiousity, I'd suggest taking a class or two about Judaism. Reform Judaism makes it ok to have inter-faith marriages, but that doesn't change the tradition of Jewish law, which says it's all down to the mother. It's not fair to you, to them, or to anyone you bring into this world, to bring them into a family that will only truly love them if they are Jewish. Get comfortable with the Qur'an, understand it to the best of your ability, and if possible finish it at least once in a language you understand before accepting Islam. My boyfriend wants to convert to Islam, should I stay or leave? Will you be prepared to observe veil (hijab)? I converted when I married Cynthia! Remember, it really comes down to how comfortable you are with it.-----The Dude: Man, you're f*ing Polish Catholic...Walter Sobchak: What the f* are you talking about? My best friend is Catholic and her man is Muslim. Oy Vey! I'm dating a Jew-ish guy myself. Picture them as two wheels on a cart. I don't go to services and I only do Shabbat here and there. My guy is not religious but he does enjoy Christmas. What's the point of converting if you don't believe? You can't really change who you are, not like that.As I said, all that is evaporating. ?roomie:  *mouth agape*                 *blinks* me:  *double stranded helices dance in head*           *considers discussing statistical model for heritability*         *remembers illogical nature of religion in general and keeps mouth shut*to this day, i have yet to hear an answer...and i'm pretty sure mendel was turning over in his grave when that conversation took placeif someone knows, please tell me....after 15 years, and many jewish friends later,  no one seems to know...roomie eventually became conservative orthodox in an attempt to compensate for her very faulty great, great, great grandmother's ova~then i knew a shiksa who converted, too...her story is a sad one, though.am i the only person who sees irony that some in the jewish faith are proponents of essentially what hitler touted???? why not say "He's Jewish and I'm not and wouldn't you know it, we love each other?" So, from Adam to Zoroaster, it is important to study the various faiths. You get a new license? Personally, there are many aspects of Judaism and the culture which are attractive (and others not so much). We celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. She made the decision to convert. If you do not wish to convert, the children that you bear with your Jewish husband could convert so they can be Jewish. According to Pew Research, "Two-thirds (67 percent) of all converts to Islam in the U.S. came from Protestant churches, 10 percent came from Catholicism, and just five percent from other religions. In Reform Communities converting usually is not an issue. If you don't believe, you're not being honest. I am liking what Tom is suggesting. Make sure it is the right decision for you first as you are making a promise the relationship apparently needs to work out. Im not particularly religious at all so does it matter? I don't know if I would be willing to give up cheeseburgers, though. She has no issues w/ her upbringing and looks forward to both holidays. Few people have it all. Every Muslim knows several, if not dozens, who chose to convert to Islam as a young adult or even later in life. I never really understood this. So much of it comes down to her husband-to-be since he's the one who's imposing his family's belief and ideals on her. I plan to read some literature and figure it out. But that's the choice I've made after my research. Dear Sister, Walaykumsalaam, Reading your post makes me feel very sad. Even if you associate with Jews, and come to share their quirks, mannerisms, habits, food preferences, sense of justice, and all that, you have taken a different path to get there so it is not really Jewish. I have been reading and looking into things, but I haven't had my moment of complete certainty yet. To my surprise, I soon saw I would never have to present him anything. Aside from the two main branches of Sunni and Shia Muslims most commonly known, within each branch many variations exist. For me, I had to sign a contract with the Catholic Church stating that we will raise our kids catholic (which I don't have a problem with how ever I do not agree with all the catholic teachings). Not too long ago an old friend -- let's name him Adam -- called me and dropped the hammer. I would wait until I have graduated and have a steady job. Good luck, Donna. And how sincere is the family's own desire to keep the bloodline pure if their own notion of faith is so shallow?====+1YOU CAN CHOOSE A READY GUIDE IN SOME CELESTIAL VOICE, IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO DECIDE YOU STILL HAVE MADE A CHOICE. It was on this premise that Muslims made unprecedented advances in science, biology, chemistry, astronomy, and physics during Islam's Golden Age. Getty Lee is the Bassist/Vocalist for the band Rush. If by some chance my boyfriend decided he fell in love with Islam and truly wanted to convert, I would welcome him in and be there every step of the way… but I would do the same if he decided he wanted to become Buddhist, Christian, or a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. None of these things bother me. The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.Wait...what? Not so sad because your boyfriend won't accepto Islam. Take the time to make a decision best for your personal relationship with Him. It's awesome that he's not pressuring you to convert, shows that he's an independent thinker. labels. One of my favorite biographies of Prophet Muhammad's life is available for free download here. You'll know you have prayed "enough" when your heart finds contentment. Personally, I think that it is hypocritical, not so much of the person converting, but of the family who asks that person to do so in the form of an ultimatum. If he loves you, tell him to convert to whatever you are. For Adam, fasting (especially last Ramadan with its 17-hour fasts) and praying five times a day on time were major adjustments. I know women who did this, but each situation has its own unique dynamics, so you can't compare to them. I am not an atheist. Take the time to read and study the Qur'an. Yes I made it clear. Is this person's actual, spiritual faith going to be altered in some way just because he or she goes through some instruction and ritual? Bleep is absolutely correct. I had a really serious boyfriend for whom I considered converting to Judaism. Yes, a tree decked  out in blue, white & silver. My advice to you is that if you are open to it, learn a little more about Judaism and see if its something that you can live with. Is this guy asking you to do it or telling you to do it? This conversation is monumentally stupid.And if someone calls you Getty Lee it might not be a compliment. I do all the other big holidays though. My problem is that in Islam a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man – any marriage which takes place is invalid. Some really are easier to work with than others. Then leave. You didn't say if not being Jewish is a dealbreaker for him. If not I would seriously recommend it before you become anymore serious because you can really learn a lot about yourself and your relationship by living with your partner. This is more difficult for some than others, but nonetheless is an important part of Islam's dietary guidance. You must be asking, what does studying other faiths have to do with Islam? Tsada K. says:The only man I would convert for is Bill Maher.------------What would you be converting from? A lot of religions seem to parallel each other. Changing religion for a partner, she discovered, is not as easy as she'd first thought. As a practicing Muslim who's made the conscious choice to follow Islam, I figured I'd been down a road Adam was looking to begin traveling. I'm Kohein). We ended up breaking it off shortly after my conversion to Islam, it was one of the toughest things I ever did. 4. My muslim boyfriend would like me to convert to muslim and have muslim ceremony to keep his family happy. Likewise, know that no shortage of anti-Islam critics exist to make you second-guess and doubt your decision. Trust me, it makes a difference. Remove one and you end up in circles without accomplishing much. Be ready for whatever comes -- good and bad. The reason I am telling it now, is because someone recently asked me if I was planning to convert for my husband and it kind of caught me off guard. But, according to Jewish tradition and law, the family line is passed down through the mother, which is why it's technically important for you to be Jewish if that's what you want your kids to be too, at least in the eyes of Jewish law. I also make the traditional food sometimes likes latkes, sufganiyot, and challah for shabbat. It sounds like you would need to have a discussion with him about his thoughts and desires and with what you are comfortable with. Note that it's a lot harder to be "passable" when hiding your lady bits. More in Converting to Islam. But in general, I notice that even the non religious usually believe in a higher being, anyway. He chose a non Jewish girl from the start. Yes Hubert there are tons of interfaith marriages between a Jew and a non Jew......Please learn about Jewish law before making statements. Best wishes. I'd suggest not worrying too much about the conversion yet, but explore Islam, and what it means to your boyfriend slowly, and see where things go. Now that it's been 16 years and 2 kids later, it's still a non-issue. I have no religion so I am willing to consider it. No incongruity canst thou see in the creation of the Gracious God. It won't happen in our lifetimes, but someday there may be nobody left who fits our conception of Jewish. should i … Unlike Christianity, you cannot just "declare" yourself Jewish. If you are not sincere in your belief then its no use if you convert to Islam. Ultimately, though, God is your final witness. I don't get why anyone would want someone else to "convert" in this way, just to get married. Maybe you can talk to your boyfriend about this. But I still wanted to become a Muslim. There is no compulsion in Islam. I was happy because I thought I can then also marry my boyfriend and we can learn about Islam together. It's an important question to ask and there's plenty to discuss. Repetition, practice, study, discipline can lead to self-discovery and realizing some personal truths. racial purity???? Additionally some religions (mostly Asian or New Age'y one's) can be practised without a belief in or worship of God or Gods (atheism.about.com/od/ath…) and (atheism.about.com/od/ath…).Though I am Theistic and believe there is or at least was a God at some point, and fairly conservative - I also don't believe that you should lie or go against your own personal beliefs or disbeliefs as these would tend to hinder an honest, open, longterm relationship.
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